April 2012
11 posts
It’s crazy how one person can change so much. In this case M. Spent an hour talking to him like if we were in middle school. Being gross. & cute ish. & he said “there’s only one thing I don’t like about you” its that I’m late. I can fix that. Totally.
So confused & unhappy. My biggest pain is not knowing. I don’t know anything. How to express what’s wrong. It scares me
Terrible day. Ugly orange hair that everyone likes but I HATE, & just been in a really bad mood :(
My sister cuts herself because of me.
Because I’m not there for her..
Just smoked. Not just, it’s 10:15 & I smoked @ 6. Still up there. Had a long, boring sleepy day. Took like 15 naps @ work. Was grouchy. Didn’t talk to Mike much. After work hung out with Monica, talked about Mike. & my love life. How im super scared of making myself a person mike will like even more, because he can either fall in love with me, or break my heart. & both...
Not in the best mood, not angry or upset, Just kinda numb& depressed. Bleh
Right now.
Not “the beginning”, not a “new start”, just Lily right here, right now. Who I used to be, who I am, & who I wish I was are 3 completely different people. & instead of going back to who I was, or moving on to who I want to be, I’m stuck being anything I can. I’m grasping for the chance of any feeling, being so lost you don’t care gets tough. I just...
